


Adventures in food

by RedRavens



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Loki's a troll, M/M, Mentions of Loki/Sigyn, Thor's a troll, extreme trolling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-05
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-30 16:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRavens/pseuds/RedRavens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of encounters with the Norse God of Mischief... when he's not necessarily up to mischief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. At Starbucks

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on tumblr and fanfiction.net as well

The first time they meet outside the battlefield is as unexpected as it is tense. And, for all of Tony Stark’s stealth, it is nothing when compared to a Norse God born for battle. Or a half-jotun as the case might be.

“Hello, Mr. Stark.” The half-aesir half-jotun whispers as soon as Tony is behind him.

“Loki.” Tony says back, eyes narrowed, red suitcase in hand and ready for battle.

Loki, who’s sitting calmly at the table, reading the newspaper - which conveniently has a photo of Loki and the Avengers fighting right on top of one of the Super Bowl Stadiums, and Tony can’t help but wonder why the citizens aren’t crying for help and panicking - doesn’t even bother glancing up. “Do sit down, Stark. Before you cause an unwanted scene.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Getting my morning beverage. I believe you might be doing the same thing.” And then he glances up, his eyes showing just a bit of amusement and a whole lot of apathetic disinterest.

It’s at that moment that one of the waitresses steps up to them with two mugs and a slice of cake. “Here we go, a Chai Frappuccino for you, Mr. Odinson, with a piece of our red velvet cake. And for you, Mr. Stark, the Salted Caramel Mocha. Will that be all?”

“Yes, thanks Marie.” Loki smiles at her while Tony can just stare at their orders.

“Chai Frappuccino? You do know that it’s around the forties outside, right? And you were nice to her, a human.”

“She’s the one making my beverage every single morning, it’s no effort to be nice to the servants who feed you. And you seem to have forgotten I’m half frost giant. Among other things I have a higher tolerance for cold weather than you humans do.”

Tony snorts, signalling the waitress - Marie, he would have to remember her name! - and silently asks for another fork.

“What are you doing?” Loki asks, voice still nonchalant but green eyes piercing and pinning Tony to his seat. Or trying to at least. The billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and occasional super hero just grins at the Norse God.

“I’m not gonna let you eat it all by yourself!”

With a put upon sigh, Loki folds the newspaper and reaches for his own cutlery. “If you’re going to eat my cake, you’ll be paying for it as well.”

“Well,” Tony grins, even as he feels like he’s an episode of the Twilight Zone. “If that’s the case…”

And then he signs to the waitress again asking for another cake for them.

They’re sitting by the window, both dressed up warmly since it’s incredibly cold outside the little Starbucks shop, as Marie shows up with another piece of cake - Orange, Pineapple, nuts and chocolate this time - the two enemies begin a tentative talk which soon enough has Loki laughing at the going ons both at Stark Industries and at ~~the Avengers~~ Tony’s house. And Tony is fairly cracking up as Loki tells him the Tales of Asgard. Complete with the capital letters.

Twilight Zone indeed.


	2. At Burger King

The next time they saw each other was, of all things, at Burger King’s waiting line. Tony just blinked at the apparently oblivious God of Mischief. Loki was wearing earth-clothes… jeans and a blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the two top buttons opened. Tony could only blink, he had gotten used to seeing the god in full battle armour. Steve and Clint wouldn’t believe him if he ever told them this was happening [again.]

“Sir?” Happy asked, looking between his boss and the man his boss was fascinated with.

“Just… just wait here, Happy.” Tony mumbled, walking to where Loki was now ordering.

“I’ll have the Double Whopper with bacon and Swiss Cheese.”

“Fries?”

“Yes.”

“Drink?”

“A Sprite.”

And that’s when Tony decided to interrupt. He cleared his throat, leaned against the counter and gave Loki his best shit-eating-look-at-all-the-fucks-I-give grin. “Actually make that two, with a Coke for me.”

Loki just looked unimpressed at him. “Should I get a court order against you Stark? And you’re paying for that as well.”

“Am I now? And just what are you even _doing_ here?”

“Yes you are, you’re the intruder this time. Again might I add.” Loki grins, that sharp you-really-don’t-want-to-contradict-me grin. “And while I’m sure your powers of observation are limited at best, even you can tell that I’m getting food, again. Stark it seems you have the unhealthy obsession of stalking me whenever I’m hungry. Care to explain that?”

Tony just shrugged, paid for their food and walked back to Happy, Loki walking beside him.

“Come on, Happy’s driving.”

Loki couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the two mortals. “Stark, there was one paparazzi at the waiting line and another parked in front of your vehicle. Are you sure you want to do this now?”

“Sure, why not? It’s not like they don’t have a ton of things on me.” Tony shrugged, getting on the back seat of his car. Loki, feeling more amused than anything, leaned forward at an angle he knew would suggest a kiss between them. And then the cameras clicked.

“Idiot,” Loki snorted, getting his order from Stark and then stepping back from the car. “You seem to have forgotten Thor and The Miscreants.” And then he walked away from the car.

“Happy, did you get any of that? I sure as hell didn’t.”

It was only afterwards that Tony saw the pictures in the tabloids, the headlines screaming that Hero and Supervillain were having a torrid affair! It really did look like a kiss! That fucker! He couldn’t help but be amused, however.

It was with ease learnt from extensive and continuous practice that Tony ignored Fury as he shouted himself raw at Tony, and Thor who kept growling at him and calling him Fiend and defiler.

And he couldn’t help but wonder when he would meet the God of Mischief again. He just _had_ to ask the guy a few questions.


	3. At After's

“Mr. Stark, what are you doing here?” Loki asked as he stared at Anthony Stark. He was in London, for a meeting with Victor about their business, and so was Anthony Stark. As far as Loki knew, Stark had no businesses in Europe.  
  
Tony did a double take, staring at the Trickster as if he had never seen him before. “What are you doing here?!” He asked instead.  
  
Loki arched an eyebrow as he sat in front of Stark. “Rude.”  
  
“That’s me babe!” Stark grinned, showing his absolute lack of manners, as usual. Loki just rolled his eyes, pointed his forefinger at Stark and shot with his thumb. He grinned in amusement as he watched Stark’s hair fall all around him, covering the table and the bench he was sitting on in a nice perfectly round circle.  
  
“Okay, not cool man, not cool at all!”  
  
“Then you shouldn’t have bee rude,” Loki shrugged, nonchalant about the mid-life crisis he might have caused Stark, “rudeness makes things ever more difficult for you.”  
  
“And you would know?”  
  
“I’ve never been rude to you, Mr. Stark.”  
  
“You tried to kill me!” Tony growled, finally attracting the attention of a waitress.  
  
“Which is a completely different thing.” He arched an amused eyebrow at Iron Man, “Yes, I’ve tried to kill you, but I’ve never been rude to you.” Loki grinned then turned expectantly at the waitress.  
  
“I’d like a Minty Magic, please.”  
  
“And you sir?” She turned to Tony Stark seemingly oblivious to the amount of hair surrounding him.  
  
Gritting his teeth Tony ordered a Mango Mischief. The God of Mischief in front of him just snorted at the inaccurate tittle.  
  
“What the hell are you doing?” Stark growled, staring intently at Loki.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“So far, out of all the places we met, no one, no one seems to care, no one seems to cry and run away in fear of you. You, a suppervillain bent on world domination, what the fuck are you doing to them?”  
  
“Absolutely nothing.” Loki replies, idly thanking the woman who delivered their orders and getting a spoon full of ice cream, moaning at the taste. “Magnificent!” he really couldn’t help but smirk at Stark’s face. “Really, Mr. Stark, have you considered that they just… don’t care?”  
  
“That’s impossible.” Stark growled instead.  
  
“There’s no such thing as impossibilities!” Loki snapped, his eyes cold and condescending. “The average human being only has morals when something is presented to them that threatens their lives, their luxuries or their images. Outside those? All of you are as… what’s the term? Ah yes, as ‘politically incorrect’ as possible.” Loki couldn’t help but snort, taking another spoon of his sundae. “And we’re nothing but their live entertainment.”  
  
“So what you’re saying is that we’re all bastards who don’t care about anything but ourselves.”  
  
“With a few exceptions, yes.”  
  
There’s a moment of awkward, strained silence. Just as it should have always been between us, Loki muses somewhat regretfully.  
  
“What bring you to Europe, then?”  
  
“I’m meeting Victor.”  
  
“Doctor Doom?”  
  
“You humans and your little annoyingly obvious nicknames. Yes, Doctor Doom.”  
  
Stark just gives him a strained smile, “Should we be scared?”  
  
“Probably, but of him this time. I’ll only be teaching him magic.”  
  
“Advanced technology you mean.”  
  
“No,” Loki said and shook his head. “I mean magic. I assure you, Mr. Stark, what removed your hair specifically from your head and not from your entire body was magic. Not technology.”  
  
Tony stopped for a moment, recalling Thor and his easy dismissal of earth’s technology, calling it dated and frustratingly slow. Tony thought it might even be so, but he’s starting to think Thor really has no idea what he was talking about. And Loki seems to be strangely tuned to him.  
  
“Thor never really grasped the concept of magic versus technology, he really sucked at it to be honest. It almost drove Freyja mad when we first begun our studies.” And that Tony can believe.  
  
It was then that Loki took a spoon of Tony’s ice cream. And now it’s Stark’s turn to smirk in amusement.  
  
“You’re paying for that.”  
  
“Am I now?”  
  
“Oh yes, our last dates I was the one paying, dear.”  
  
“Dates? Couldn’t you have gone with meetings?” Loki fairly pleads, though his eyes were bright with amusement.  
  
“Meetings are dull events, there’s nothing but unimaginative suits there,” Tony grinned, dipping his own spoon on Loki’s sundae. “Our dates have been anything but boring. Hell I even got Thor after me calling me fiend.”  
  
“Why, thank you, Mr. Stark… though, three dates? Suppose after this we’re supposed to go to bed and have hot unimaginative sex?”  
  
“Yep, those are the rules.” And for a moment Tony really can’t help but think what would it be to take Loki to bed. He really can’t imagine it being unimaginative sex. Nor can he imagine it being hot. It would’ve been scorching and beautiful, like a magma river.  
  
And then Loki pulled him out of his obscene thoughts.  
  
“Man whore.”  
  
“Thank you, half-jotun.”  
  
“You’re very welcome, impudent human.”  
  
“Trust me, it was my pleasure Destroyer of worlds.”  
  
“Surely not, the pleasure was mine, Mercenary of Death.”  
  
And they descent in full out banter, with another two servings of ice cream [for once Loki’s paying] until Victor comes to pick Loki up for their own meeting-slash-teaching-the-super-villain-magic.  
  
And Tony really shouldn’t care, but he does. He hates the sight of them walking away together.  
  
At the next meeting between the Avengers and Doctor Doom he’s specially careful to be extremely my-aim-is-to-kill-you violent to the so called super villain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more information on what they got, go here: http://www.aftersoriginal.co.uk/menu.html


	4. Cheesecake and Apple Crumble

“Oh, and Pepper?” Tony cried, preventing his personal assistant from hanging up on him, “get some cheesecake for me would you?”

  
“Anything else?”

Before he could say no, a paper reading ‘apple crumble and custard’ appeared on his desk. Really, he should feel much more surprised than he did. Tony just rolled his eyes and related the order to Pepper.

“Tony?”

“Yes, sunshine?”

“You don’t like apples.”

“I know.”

“All right then.”

“Apple crumble? Really?” Tony asked, turned on his chair and he was not at all surprised to see Loki leaning against his window, green cape hitting the floor and full armour on.

“I like apples, well… all the AEsir do. Surely you’ve heard of Idun’s golden apples?” Loki asked, eyebrow arched, questioning.

“I also heard a whole lot of other things. Did you really give birth to a horse?!”

“My oldest, Slepnir. And yes, I did” Loki said with the smile of a proud parent, “it was for the good of Asgard.” Loki shrugged, seemed unconcerned at the horrified face before him.

“What? A horse, how was that at all possible?”

“I was a mare at the time of the birth you idiot.” Loki really couldn't help but grin somewhat fondly at Iron Man.

“So the stuff in Norse Mythology is real? You can turn into a woman or any animal?”

“Some legends are real,” Loki agreed with a nod and then he smiled wickedly, and Tony could see why they called Loki the Destroyer of Worlds and the Bringer of Ragnarok. “Some, are gross and unwell written lies.”

Tony decided not to ask for once.

“So, what brings you here today? And in full armour?”

“Business, Doom is releasing a retrovirus, a mixture of Ebola, Anthrax and Magic. It will decimate your cities, your countries and your people and leave only Latveria. I’m just here to warn you.”

Tony stopped, his mind working as it usually did in front of a puzzle, retrovirus, not a simple one, or even bacteria, he would have to call Doc Green… but this, he was an engineer, nor a biologist. Why come to him? Loki had other resources, Tony knew he had. And what of destroying the world?

“Why come to me?” He asked instead.

“Because you’ll get the medical community going much faster than if I say something, that’s the problem with a chronicle liar.” Loki shrugged, seemingly unconcerned about the pending doom of humanity.

“But why? Wouldn’t it be easier to conquer the earth if the only people around were Doom and the Latverians?”

“Oh certainly,” Loki agreed carelessly, rolling his eyes and waving as if Tony was mentally challenged, “but Thor would throw a fit at loosing that little human of his, and I’d really hate to have him sulking around. And our little war-play was never meant to involve genocide on either of our parts.” Loki stopped, considering, “of aided by us as the case might be.”

“Aided?” Tony growled, glaring at Loki. War-play?

“Of course, he paid me to teach him magic to cause destruction. Well, as much destruction as an average sorcerer like him can cause.”

Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. Of course, of course Loki would’ve aided Doom, of course! It was a fools wish to hope otherwise.

“Tony?” Pepper’s voice broke through his rage, and it was with dread that he looked up at her, only to notice a blond woman wearing a green dress sitting in front of him.

Well now, that legend was apparently true!

“Just leave it on the table, Pep, we’re almost done here.”

“Are you all right?” Pepper asked, glancing at her boss and then at the woman. There was something she knew she should recognise about her. Maybe Tony had slept with her before? Well, as long as she wasn’t pregnant.

“Yes, just… unsettling news, I’ll talk to you later.” And Pepper closed the door, but not before giving Tony a look that promised a talk.

“So, about- JESUS!” Tony cried, as he turned his attention back to Loki, only to see the Norse God back in his male form, in full armour and standing very, very close to him.

And he was already eating his apple crumble.

“Bastard.”

“No, my parents were married and then I was formally adopted.” Loki responded, tilting his head to the side, plastic fork in his mouth.

Tony ignored that.

“So that’s what Victor,” Tony couldn’t help but sneer the name, an unpleasant burn in his stomach “wanted with you? What of this war-play of yours?”  
“What do you think it means?”

“This shit,” Tony said perhaps more amused then he had any right to be at the conclusions he reached. He wondered if it was too late to commit himself to a mental institution “You two are just playing at war, aren’t you?” And Tony couldn't decide between anger at the whole deal and hysterical laughter.

“Yes. Thor and I needed to harness our skills… it’s been a long, long seven hundred years since we’ve done anything like this, all in all I’m very glad you humans evolved.” Loki shrugged, unconcerned.

Tony stared. A game. They were in the middle of a fucking game. He thought briefly about shouting and ranting about human lives going to waste on a whim of the gods, but none of that would have an affect on Loki.

In the end, he didn’t say anything.

“Do you have a sample of the retrovirus?” he asked instead.

“Of course, but I want something in return first.” And, before Tony could blink, before he could react, before he could even open his mouth to berate the God of Mischief he was pressed against his window, a soft set of male, scarred lips pressed against him own.

Idly Tony noted that this was another legend that was real, but then he reacted, pulling Loki to him, and turning the forceful kiss into a real one, their lips moved together with just a hint of tongue. He carefully mapped Loki’s scarred lips, his left hand set on the armoured waist, his right hand on the hidden neck, his fingers just shy of touching the dark hair.

And then Loki was gone.

Dazed, Tony opened his eyes, seeing a tiny bottle on his desk under a notice of ‘do not open’.

The rest of the day was spent with the taste of apples in his mouth.


	5. (lack of) Sugar Kisses

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]  
 **Title:** Adventures in Food  
 **Pairing for the chapter:** Loki/Tony Stark  
 **Warnings:** none

“Jarvis, start with inventory, I need to know if he took anything.” He asked, pushing his own cheesecake away.

It wasn’t until hours after Loki had left that Tony remembered that Doc Banner was a physician, not a biologist. He blamed Loki for the slip up.

“Jarvis, is Pepper here?”

“She left sir,” the AI with the British ascent answered.

“Fuck, well, call Pep, James and Fury, Jarvis. Teleconference, if they say no, tell them I have info on Doom, if they still say no, tell them I also… tell them I have urgent news.”

“And if they still say no, sir?”

“Then let them be, and call CDC, tell them I have information on a possible deadly virus.”

“Right away sir.”

He needn’t have worried, within minutes Jarvis had all three waiting for him.

“Tony?” Pepper and James asked, at the same time as Nick Fury shouted his last name and demanded info. ' _Military stuck up'_ , Tony thought to himself.

“I got info,” Tony said, holding the tiny bottle. Jarvis had already ran a scan of the product within, but it was nothing he could recognise. Even with Loki’s sketchy info on what was inside, it didn’t look anything like Ebola, or Anthrax for that matter.

“Stark?” Fury interrupted his thoughts, and Tony could imagine him rolling his one eye.

“Right, right… I’ve got info on Doom, seems like he created a retrovirus, my informant said something about Anthrax, Ebola and Magic.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from Pepper and James started cursing, Fury was silent until Tony heard the unmistakeable sound of something breaking.

“Magic?”

“Loki.” Tony answered, he wondered if he should feel guilty about throwing the name around, but he wasn’t. Aside from the odds interludes they had, they were enemies. A pity, really... Loki would've made a very... interesting Avenger. On the other hand, maybe not, it who knew what he would be up to if he was ever an Avenger.

“Figures,” he heard James mutter, no he did not feel the need to say anything about it, he did not!

“Anyway,” Tony continued, “I had a tiny sample delivered here, and had Jarvis scan, then I remembered I had no info on either Anthrax or Ebola, hacked into the CDC database, compared stuff and this is like nothing they have ever seen.”

“How did you get it?”

“My informant brought it to me,” Tony heard another intake of breath and he knows Pepper has finally figured out who the woman was. “So, should I just mail you the sample or call the CDC guys?”

“Do Doom and Loki have any idea you have their things, Tony?” Rhodes asked, his voice almost daring Tony to lie.

“I’ve honestly no idea about Doom… Loki... Loki knows about this, and probably that I’m calling you, and probably that we’ll probably try and find a cure. I doubt he’ll try and stop us, however.”

“How can you be sure?” And it’s Pepper’s voice, and he hated that whatever conclusions she reached had put so much worry, genuine worry and not just the usual ‘what happened _now_?’ that they have going on.

“It’s be-” his voice failed him, he tried again with the same results, fucking Norse Gods, fucking _Loki_! “I can’t say.”

“What?” Fury roars, and Tony could hear other things breaking down and a voice - probably Coulson’s - asking something urgent to the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

“I can’t say.” Tony snarled between clenched teeth, as he tried to get the words out again, his throat suddenly tightened, as if someone or something was squeezing it, almost to the point of chocking Tony. He could only gasp for much needed air, until he finally gave up on talking, telling Fury he could very well ask Thor for the reason.

And now he knew why Loki had kissed him. It's the only probable conclusion. Loki had kissed him to shut him up, to spell him shut.

As he hung up on Fury, he also turned around in his workshop, making sure he was alone.

“Tony?” Pepper called, voice hesitant.

“Right here Pep.”

“That was him, wasn’t it?” She asked with her usual perceptiveness.

“Yes.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Rhodes interrupted, “what’s happening? You’re telling me you actually talked to Loki, Stark? Are you mad”?

“They had ah… what do you call it Tony? Dates?” And then the woman was laughing at him… sometimes Tony wondered why he put up with Pepper and Rhodes.

“You’re kidding me, right Pepper? Tony? It wasn’t only that time with Happy?”

“What time with Happy?” Pepper asked sharply.

“No there were actually three ah… dates. We met at Starbucks, at Burger King, that was the time with Happy, Pepper and last month in Europe, where he left me for Doom.”

“Really?” There was far too much mirth in James' voice.

“Yes, and he showed up today to deliver the little bottle of poison, speaking of which, got any news from S.H.I.E.L.D. yet, Rhodes?”

“No and don’t change the subject, what were you thinking Tony? What if Thor hears about this? That man’s absolutely irrational when it comes to his baby brother!”

Tony… hadn’t actually thought of that… and now he could imagine Thor chasing him down the road with Mjolnir roaring behind. And he could  picture Loki laughing at him.

Stupid Loki with his stupid apple kisses and his shapeshifting and his ability to have babies and now he was wondering what Loki had looked like pregnant and he couldn’t ask Thor for pictures because Thor would kill him if he ever found out that Loki had kissed him and --

“Tony?” James Rhodes asked.

It was all Loki’s fault.

The Bastard.


	6. Salty Caramel

** Disclaimer:  ** I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]  
 **Title:** Adventures in Food  
 **Pairing for the chapter:** Loki/Tony Stark  
 **Warnings:** none

It’s been over a week now, Doom’s plans had come to fruition and swiftly taken care of with minimal loss [a family of three in Greenland], and Tony can still taste apples in his mouth if he concentrates. Fury now knows that Loki was Tony’s secret informant and Tony had, in fact, had to listen to a lecture on proper procedure between heroes and villains, though he had made Loki from the Avengers’ first priority, down to a five. 

Tony knew Loki would hate it, and probably even pout.  _The smell of apples, the taste of apples, scarred lips against his own, not demanding, and not submissive, just there, tasting and unyielding —_  Tony shook his head to rid himself of the images, it would do no good to remember that time. 

He unconsciously licked his lips as he entered their first meeting place: Starbucks. 

Tony smiled at the waitress, the plump little Marie, ordering the same drink as the last time. As he waited, he looked around the shop trying to pretend he wasn’t looking for Loki. 

Marie came back with his drink and a napkin, Tony was pretty confused until he saw what was on the napkin, a short note in a handwriting he doesn’t recognize. 

_ ‘He’s upstairs’ _  it says. 

His heart shouldn’t have skipped like that, he shouldn’t be remembering the taste of apples, he shouldn’t even  _be_ there, going up the stairs and pretending he didn’t want to see his pseudo-nemesis one more time. He shouldn’t be doing any of that, but he does. He’s Anthony bloody Stark and he’ll do whatever the hell he wants! 

Tony’s eyes immediately found Loki, the god was sitting at a faraway table, along with another man who’s fairly clinging to him. Tony had no idea where that burning in his stomach came from, or why his fists were clenching or why he wanted to suddenly be Iron Man and blast that man off of Loki. 

Tony’s good at denial like that. 

Then said man clung even harder and they shared a kiss - Tony saw smut and a heated kiss, when it was actually a quick kiss just a press of lips on lips - Tony wondered if his teeth would shatter, he was grinding them so hard. 

He didn’t even bother clearing his throat or making any noise to warn them he’s actually there, he just pulled a chair over and plopped on it, glaring at the both of them. He was even more annoyed when Loki, instead of releasing the man [it’s actually a boy] just holds him tighter. Later on he’ll congratulate himself for startling Loki. 

As Loki realized who, exactly, it was, he partially released his hold on the boy, giving him a gentle, tender kiss on his forehead which had Tony almost throwing his mug full of salty caramel coffee on the both of them. 

“It’s been a while, Stark.” Loki started. 

“Loki.” Tony fairly growled at the god, getting two confused glances, Tony’s struck with how similar they look for a moment before he went back at glaring at Loki. And they were at a standstill until the boy’s voice broke the uncomfortable silence. 

“Dad?” He whispered. 

God he’s so  _young_! Tony couldn’t believe Loki was giving his attentions to— wait. Dad?  

Loki stared at him for a moment longer, lips twitching in blatant amusement as if he now knew what Tony had been thinking, before he turns back to the boy at his side. 

“Yes, love?” 

The boy made a face, before sighing in resignation. “Who’s this?” 

And Tony’s relieved. He has no idea why he’s so relieved his fingers are lax, why he’s suddenly relaxed, where had that burning his in stomach gone? 

“This, Narfi, is Tony Stark he is one of the Avengers along with your uncle, he’s Iron Man.” Loki said, amused, far more amused than he had any right to be, if one would bother to ask Tony. 

“Stark, this is my youngest son, Narfi.” 

And the boy just stared at him, green eyes wide with childish wonder. “You mean,” the boy started, turning to Loki, “he made this?” and suddenly there’s a Stark-Tablet at the table, and Loki’s looking at him with a terrifying face, Tony thought that was the ‘if-you-do-anything-to-my-child-I’ll-remove-your-intestines-with-a-spoon’ look. 

All in all he’s glad that he’s in a somewhat friendly relationship with Loki. It’s not like the god had destroyed anything this past week that had required their attention. 

“Yes, this is one of mine… what are you looking at?” Tony asked hastily adding a “If you don’t mind me asking.” at Loki’s look. Yep, he could definitely see why the guy was the Norse God of Evil. 

“Dad’s showing me the internet!” The young man, Narfi, said. And Tony felt as if the ground had suddenly been removed from under him. If Loki knew how to use the internet… he couldn’t help but wonder if Spam was his creation… or maybe porn sites that only lead to other porn sites which lead to other porn sites and so on. Loki would definitely be a Troll. “Did you know there’s a whole facebook page dedicated to him?” Narfi continues. “It’s called ‘Loki please destroy my stuff!’” he said proudly. But then the kid did have warped morals, being Loki’s child and all. 

And no, Tony didn’t know… he would have to check it out and do a complete scan on the lives and possessions of each and every member either part of the page or watching it and even those who ‘liked’ the page. 

“That’s uhn… nice.” Tony smiled, restrained. 

“Yeah! There’s a guy who wants dad to destroy his car next Monday because he has a meeting with someone called Hammer.” 

“I’m not sure I’ll actually do that one, he hasn’t offered me anything.” Loki replied casually, glancing wickedly at Tony. 

“Say, dad… have you seen Jor and Nir and Hela and Fen?” The young man asked suddenly, turning bright green eyes - Loki’s eyes, Tony thought - to his father. 

“Who?” Tony asks, frowning. 

“My other children…” then he turned to his son, “Jor and Nir are doing fine, Narfi. Though Nir’s complaining your grandfather put on some weight. I’ve yet to visit Fen and Hela though,” Loki shrugged, and Tony knew he was watching him even if he was looking at Narfi. 

Tony blinked stupidly at them… suddenly wondering what the hell had he gotten himself into.

\----

Jor = Jormungand

Nir = Slepnir

Hela is Hela

Fen = Fenrir


	7. Bittersweet Muffins

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]  
 **Title:** Adventures in Food VII  
 **Pairing for the chapter:** Loki/Tony Stark  
 **Warnings:** none

It should be surprising how well Tony and Narfi got along. It wasn't. With Loki there to explain the Midgardian technology to Narfi [technology which he knew a little too much about] and Tony showing the kid some awesome features from the tablet, it was no wonder they got along so well.

Tony now knew that Narfi really was older than all the superheroes on earth put together, yet he honestly couldn't help but think of the kid as well... a kid. He was entering his teen years, according to Loki, and him and his twin, Vali, were about to create as much mischief as Loki used to at that age.

Tony couldn't help but be slightly terrified of that.

"How is your mother?" Loki suddenly asked, his arm still around the teen's shoulder, keeping him near. Tony could see that the kid put up only a token complaint, but underneath the poor mask he enjoyed his father's attention as much as any kid would.

"She's fine, she had to ground Vali today." Narfi says with just a bit of malice in his voice, whatever it was, it's pleasing to the teen and probably his fault that his brother got caught.

"And what did you two do?" Loki asked, seeing easily through the mask.

"Nothing."

"Narfi..." Loki growled and the teen pouted, sullenly.

"We fed grandad's crows with sweet cakes." Narfi grinned then, clearly proud of himself and of the little mischief him and his twin managed. Sons of Loki indeed.

"And the punishment?"

"To clean their cages for a week."

"Your grandad's getting mellow," Loki mused, with a wishful expression before he turned to Narfi again, "that means we get a week to ourselves?"

The kid answered him with a beautiful smile, then his eyes grew wide with excitement and Tony's stomach dropped even further as the kid shouted "Uncle Thor!"

Predictably - not that Tony would ever tell him that - Loki narrowed his eyes at the seven feet-tall blond with bulging muscles figure making their way to them with... was that... for some odd reason Thor had an assortment of muffins with him...

"Brother! Nephew!" Thor's voice boomed all around the place, as if he had no concept of lower volume. Loki knew for a fact he didn't and, if Stark's face was any indication, he was slowly figuring that out.

"Sit down, Thor. You're making a scene." Loki waved a hand towards his brother, making a chair slide, noiselessly, on the floor towards the other god.

"Man of Iron?" Thor boomed, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

"He invited himself," Loki whispered, giving Tony a wicked smile that had his son rolling his eyes.

"Uncle," Narfi started, easily drawing attention to him and – thankfully – away from Tony, "is it true you're both on the same team, fighting dad?"

"Yes, yes… your father is a mighty foe indeed." Thor said gravely.

"Yes, well…" Loki said, his cheeks tainted with a pale pink colour, "it would've been more fun if you weren't too attached to your little girlfriend."

"As much as it pains me," Thor muttered – as much as he could mutter anyway, "Jane is only mortal… we shall leave the more serious games until after she has passed away."

While Loki and Narfi nodded in understanding, Tony couldn't help but be appalled at the casual way Thor talked about the death of a loved one. It was cold-hearted. Something he had thought he never would have to associate with Thor.

"What, you're just gonna let her pass away?" Tony asked, helping himself to a strawberry and chocolate muffin, being careful not to show how their discussion affected him.

"What would you have me do, Man of Iron? Introduce her to Odin and Frigga?" Thor asked surprised.

"They would eat her alive," Narfi muttered next to Tony, the tablet laid on his lap and hands full of a mug with hot chocolate. At least that was his guess, one could never know with Asgardians.

"No, they wouldn't." Loki denied, looking at him son with the air of someone giving lessons. "Odin and Frigga would force Thor to end things in the most definite way possible and then demand proof."

"You mean… they would ask Uncle Thor to kill his girlfriend?"

"And then what?" Tony said his stomach churning with possibilities. "Present her heart on a plate?"

"Probably," Thor agreed, he was no stranger to his parent's ways.

"But why?" Tony found himself asking, looking at the other three gods at the round table – and wasn't that a weird notion? – and seeing the blank looks.

"Because Odin and Frigga would never allow a mere mortal to take the throne of Asgard. They would never allow Thor's first heir to be a Halfling." Loki whispered, looking at his brother. "You see," suddenly his tone is much more cheerful and, indeed, devious than a moment before, "Thor still has to produce an heir, we're all starting to think he might have ah… certain reproductive problems."

And then, looking at Thor's appealed and cheerful face, Tony finally got it. He found himself smiling before he could quite hide it.

"They're always like that," came the whisper beside him. He looked down at the pre-teen next to him. "They're always like that, cheering the other up when the other is down. Uncle Thor did something similar when daddy needed it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Jor used to say it wasn't like that until after Odin took Hella away. But afterwards something changed between them, though no one would tell me what happened."

In the background Tony could hear Loki and Thor going on and on about Thor's [lack of] prowess in bed and 'there's no way, brother you've bedded more women than I have, brother!'

"Also," Narfi continued, looking down at his lap. "Don't hurt dad if you can help it, the rest of the Aesir already do that too much."

"Narfi?" Tony whispered.

"He likes you… and I can tell you like him too."

"- your first born is a horse!"

"Well my first born can run at the speed of light  _and_  carry Odin on his back. Let's see what your first born will do then if it's ever born."

"Of course my heir will come, Loki!"

"You've yet to prove it." Loki sneered though his eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"Well just because I will not lay with just anyone -"

"What of that Giantess?"

As Loki and Thor went back to their old argument, Tony finds that yes, despite everything he actually did like the God of Mischief. At his side, Narfi smiled at his dad and uncle.


	8. Irish Coffee

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]  
 **Title:** Adventures in Food VIII  
 **Pairing for the chapter:** Loki/Tony Stark  
 **Warnings:** none

 

After meeting Narfi, a little over a week ago, Tony had decided that it was pass the time to do his own research and not leave it for other people [aka Pepper and probably Bruce or the Captain.] It had been a quiet week on Stark Tower, what with Loki being quiet taking care of family stuff and Thor with him. Not that anyone believed him. Clint had said he was mad, Natasha had rolled her eyes and the Captain had just asked if he was alright.

He was bloody fine!

Oh sure, the person [god] he was having sort-of-but-not-really-they're-just-casual-and-random-encounters-I-mean-it with not only had Vali and Narfi, he also had Hel, Fenrir, Jormungand and Slepnir, not to mention he was married!

Jesus his life was Fucked. Capital F completely necessary.

He had shown the research to Pepper, hoping to maybe get a bit of sympathy, but she had only rolled her eyes at him and shoved a meeting planner under his nose so he 'could at least know what the meeting you scheduled was for!' Then he had showed it to Rhodey, the only one besides Pepper who had some sort of idea what the hell was going on, and Rhodey had cracked a rib laughing. Well Tony hoped he did anyway, he had left while James called him 'stepdaddy.'

And now it was little over a week since he had last seen Loki. And no, he was not pouting.

He didn't bother pouring whisky in a glass; he just took a swallow directly from the bottle. It was past three a.m. and sleep wouldn't come and he was busy with work. He had told JARVIS to soundproof his lab-slash-garage-slash-workspace and not to let anyone else in.

"Please don't tell me you're having abandonment issues." Tony closed his eyes as the voice he had come to appreciate sounded around his lab.

"JARVIS, didn't I tell you to not let anyone enter?" Tony barked, ignoring the god. He knew it was a mistake but he couldn't seem to control it.

"Oh don't bother, your little AI can't stop magic from working, no matter how hard you two tried."

"And why not?"

"For the same reason you're unable to stop a hurricane or a tsunami." Loki shrugged, or at least Tony thought he shrugged, he had the voice of someone who shrugged; Tony refused to look at him.

"You expect to believe that? The whole force of nature thing?" He waved his fingers in Loki's general direction, his eyes fixed on what he was doing with the wrench. Frankly he had no idea what he was doing anymore.

"I don't expect you to believe anything." And now Tony was sure he was rolling his eyes. "What's the matter with you anyway?"

"Nothing," Tony lied, "did you even bother to think that I might not want you around? That I'm tired of your presence?" He took another swallow of whisky and was left wanting to bite his tongue, or at least sew his lips shut – it would be fitting given present company – and he had no idea why he had said that. He wanted Loki's company, he did want it despite all reason not to.

"Of course I didn't, if I gave any thought about what you wanted, Stark, I wouldn't be here on Midgard in the first place." He heard footsteps behind him, and then he had hands on him! One hand was on his hip and the other gripping his left shoulder. "Now what really happened?"

Tony set his jaw like a stubborn child, and, eventually, the hands left him, followed by a deep sigh.

"Let me guess… you did your research and you didn't like what you found? What was it, Stark? My children? My wife? Or your relation to it all?"

Only then did Tony turn to look at him, eyes narrowed in speculation. "How would you know that? Did you read my mind or something?"

"Don't be stupid, I read your research." And yes, right beside him was Tony's research, complete with oil marks and red marking. "So, what did you think of it?"

"How come you have six children and over half of them are monsters?" Tony asked.

"Because half of them were conceived while their mother and I were addicted to Seid. I doubt you're familiar with that term."

"Some sort of magic-y thing… whatever, what does that have to do with me?" Oops… he hadn't meant to say that.

Loki just smirked at him before waving his fingers and making two cups of coffee appear. "I'm not having this conversation without the pleasant buzz of alcohol." He said.

"And that is…?"

"Irish coffee." They take a sip of the hot coffee, the whisky burning on their throat along with the bitter taste of coffee. "So you know about Slepnir."

"Yes. But you've said not everything in the myths are real."

"I'm so glad you pay attention to what I say." Loki snorted, "but yes, not everything is real. Slepnir's birth… let's just say that I thought I could outrun Svadilfari, and I learned the hard way I couldn't."

They shared a  _look_. Loki's gaze was without self-pity, without remorse, without hesitation. Tony is horrified at the conclusions he reached.

"After that traumatic experience…" Loki hesitated before taking another sip of coffee and letting it burn down his throat. "I came home with an eight-legged foal, after some time I met a female Jotun called Angrboda. She was a witch, but not the sort to weave spells like I do, her spells and, eventually, mine had a viral quality to it. I suppose I could link it to some of your drugs… heroin comes to mind."

Tony swallowed, looking around for the bottle he left god knew where, he needed something stronger than coffee. He noticed that Loki was only describing what had and hadn't happened, never saying what it had felt like. With a jolt he realized that, if he wanted to really know what Loki had been feeling then, he would have to talk to Thor.

"Well, we sort of entered a relationship, on that point I guess Aesir, Jotun and human are not all that different." Loki snorted, eyes far, far away in remembrance.

"But you're not… you're not Asgardian."

"The correct term is Aesir, please use it." Tony just rolled his eyes like a petulant child, mouthing 'whatever.'

"Anyway, I got addicted to Seid along with Angrboda and it had side some effects on the body, but much more on the offspring. After a while, Odin ordered Freyja to teach me the correct magic, I met Sigyn and that's that."

Tony nodded, there was nothing else to be said. Not by Loki anyway.

"What happens now?" he asked, sipping the last of his coffee and wondering where it all went. "Your kids, your wife."  _Your villainy, you playing with me as if I was a ragdoll_ , Tony kept quiet about that, eyeing the god blatantly for the first time since Loki had shown up.

"Whatever I want to happen… though I'm not in the mood to do much of anything today." Loki shrugged.

"Well, I am…" Tony whispered, staring at the scarred lips he had wanted to taste again for a while now.

And, for the first time in a while, the God of Mischief was taken by surprise when his mortal… whatever… took the initiative to initiate the kiss. He remained with his eyes opened, pleased with what he saw reflected on Stark's face.

The two mugs were left alone for the rest of the night, JARVIS having to wake up one or two of his master's robots to shift things around and eventually take them to the kitchen while his master enjoyed himself. He made sure to remind his master to take the footage of those moments out of main server and into Tony's private one when they were done.


	9. Hershey Kisses

**Disclaimer** : I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we’re talking about Loki]  
 **Title** : Adventures in Food IX  
 **Pairing for the chapter** : Loki/Tony Stark  
 **Warnings** : none

Kissing Loki was… different. Tony had kissed another male before [once, on a dare] but never quite like this. There weren’t many people taller than him, but Loki was tall. 6’2 to Tony’s 6’1, all lean and hard muscles and flat, hard places. Tony was used to soft curves and swelling breasts and lean, quivering flesh. Of course, it doesn’t really hurt that Loki has legs that went on for miles and miles.

He was still daydreaming of their little makeout session, the way Loki had just gripped and moved against him, the way they had rubbed against each other through their clothes, when Thor came down for breakfast. The Thunderer had come back after Loki had left, and had been giving him weird looks ever since.

“I would have words with you, Man of Iron.” Thor’s voice boomed from somewhere on his left side and Tony thought it was too early to have that volume of sound near him. Nevermind that it was late afternoon.

“Oh,” Tony said, his smile blatantly lacking as he pressed his lips together, “hey Thor.”

“Loki… seems to be taken with you,” the demigod started without preamble, his voice much, much lower than usual; Tony guessed it was Thor’s version of a whisper, “I need you to know that Loki picks on his interests, he’s not kind to them, not at first, he deceives, he lies and belittles them… as least from what Sigyn has told me. So I warn you to be careful about him.”

“I can take care of myself big guy,” Tony said.

“I never said you couldn’t, but you have never really attracted positive attention from a god, and Loki is the prickliest and most mercurial god you could ever find in all the pantheons! And I do mean that from experience… the one time Loki and Hera met was-“

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” Tony said, waving his hands in a vague ‘please stop’ motion, “what do you mean ‘other pantheons’?”

“Exactly that, was I unclear?”

“No but… you’re not kidding, are you? There really are other deities around.”

“Well, yes… As a matter of fact, Jor gets along pretty well with Poseidon, though Hela gave a minor country for Hades to rule over.”

Tony stared.

“Well, of course she did! They don’t get along at all!” the trickster’s voice came as he draped himself over Tony, one arm sneaking around his shoulder and the other against his waist. “Though really, Hade should’ve known better.”

Thor just nodded while Tony rolled his eyes and sighed, “What are you even doing here?”

“Can’t I check up on you?” Loki asked, narrowing his eyes, “besides, Victor was being a bore and Wade is busy.”

“Wade?” Tony asked… surely it couldn’t be. Surelly!

“I think you know him as Deadpool?” Tony stared at him horrified before –

“-ony? Tony? Wake up! Come on, man… Loki’s looking at me funny.”

“imup.” He mumbled, blinking his eyes open and looking at his god from his position on the couch. Only then did he realize that the one trying to wake him up was not Thor, but Capsicle.

“You can leave now, Rogers.” Loki growled and the Steve gave him a loaded look full of ‘we’ll talk later’ and a resigned sigh before he left. “What was that? Why did you react that way?”

“Please tell me I was just hallucinating and you’re not BFFs with Deadpool!” Tony pleaded, still flat on the couch.

Loki just sighed and Thor looked at them in confusion.

“We’re close, but we’re not that close that I’d call him my BFF.” Loki replied with a straight face, while Tony closed his eyes and whimpered. He was seriously considering handing in his letter of resignation from the Avengers. He didn’t even want to consider the possibility of Deadpool and Loki on a scheme together… and he was very much aware that he and Loki were still enemies.

“Oh do stop with your theatrics!” Loki snapped, stalking over to Tony and simply dropping himself on his stomach, ignoring the moan of pain coming from him. Thor just smiled at then and left the living room.

Loki crossed his legs, wiggling above Stark to try and find a comfortable position. He blatantly ignored the moan of pain until Tony poked him.

“I love your weight on top of me, Loki, but not like this.” He grimaced but refrained from trying to get Loki off of him, it would just make him stay.

“How, then?” Loki asked, arching an eyebrow but his eyes were twinkling with mischief, which Tony took as a very good sign.

“Preferably in a vertical position, your face close to mine, while you’re sucking my tongue. Nakedness is an option, of course.”

“Insatiable!” Loki cooed then proceeded to do just that.

Tony thought fleetingly that Loki’s mouth tasted of lemons and cookies, even as he gripped the god’s waist and feed him his tongue. If there was one thing to know about Loki was that the god could kiss. He could definitely kiss.

“Who’s insatiable? I read everything about you, and you’re one to talk!” Tony grinned, giving Loki another quick kiss.

“You’ve read the Eddas?” Loki blinked at him, suddenly all business.

“Yes… why? You thought I’ve read Wikipedia?” Granted Tony can be lazy when he wants to – Pepper could tell a number of stories about that – but important stuff he always took care of himself. After all, he didn’t graduate MIT by fooling around! [Not that much anyway]

“Of what you told me,” Tony said, and he can’t help but caress Loki’s raven hair. “How much of it was a lie?”

“Not all of it.” Loki said without shame of further though.

“Slepnir?” Tony guessed, sharing another kiss with his god.

“Yes, I’ve never let anyone land a hand, or hoof, on me without permission. That was something Thor and I invented and shared with the people of that time. I never thought the writers would actually put it on paper…” Loki rolled his eyes and sighed.

“What did you do then?”

“I transformed a male pig into a mare in heat and let it loose.” He shrugged, the movement odd against Tony.

“Troll.”

“The original troll.” Loki smirked, teasing Tony into another kiss.


	10. Plums

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]  
 **Title:** Adventures in Food X  
 **Pairing for the chapter:** Loki/Tony Stark  
 **Warnings:** Mentions of sex.

**Plums**

Tony’s kisses were… different.

Loki had, of course, kissed other males, females and other assorted beings¹ in his long, long life. Kissing Tony was still different. Sure the human had a sex drive a mile wide and then some but it shouldn’t be any different from any other human.

Not to mention that Loki should be able to pull away. Should be able to distance himself, to let it be sex and talk, like it was sometimes with Remy². It shouldn’t have been as addicting as it was. Loki sighed, looking at the city bellow him.

He hadn’t even left Stark Tower yet! Admittedly it had a lovely view³ and company he did love to annoy… but Doom had started to notice. Loki didn’t actually care per si, Doom was many things but first and foremost human and Loki only cared for one human.

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder and Loki sighed, letting his eyes close and his head fall back.

“You’re still here.” Thor said, handing his brother one piece of vanilla pound cake covered with plum sauce. Loki blinked, nibbling at the piece.

“I am.”

“You usually don’t remain after you get what you want.” Thor noted, face forward, but Loki still felt the heavy weight of some of Tony’s schematics in his pocket.

“No, no I don’t.”

Thor nodded, as if Loki had just confirmed something for him and maybe he had. Loki remembered back to their first unintentional meeting, closing his eyes tight least he let Thor see them soften.

“Maybe you could remain a while longer?” Thor asked, glancing at his brother.

“I don’t think your friends would appreciate it.”

“And you’ve never been one to let that stop you.” Thor said, poking his brother’s arm before turning around and walking away.

Loki snorted and finished his cake.

If he turned around to find a golden apple sitting idly on a table, neither he nor Thor would ever mention it.

When Tony finally woke up from his rather taxing experience⁴ it was to find his now lover alone in his lab, his schematic for Steve’s shield and Clint’s bow spread around him, two pencils writing by themselves and Loki clearly in thought.

He mused about his life had turned around so suddenly.

And he was pretty okay with that.

———————————

¹One memorable occasion involved a fire element and a wooden nymph and Loki playing meat in their little sandwich. Two words: Worth It

²[a/n: this is all maverikloki’s fault]

³The actual city view and Tony’s butt covered by a thin sheet… Loki could never be sure which was better.

⁴It’s _Loki_ , enough said.


	11. Tea for breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki's a dickhead, that's all I'm saying.

**Disclaimer** : I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]

 **Title** : Adventures in Food XI

 **Pairing for the chapter** : Loki/Tony Stark

 **Warnings** : Mentions of sex.

 

**Tea for breakfast**

Breakfast really couldn't be any more awkward.

They had all stared as Loki sat between Tony and Thor, easily catching Natasha's thrown knife and Clint's dart. He looked at their storming faces, arching an eyebrow in the face of their animosity. He turned to Thor then, drawling in the most bored voice he could muster at that time of the day, "what do you usually have for breakfast?"

"Fruits, bread, eggs, coffee. Have you tasted coffee before?"

"I have. Though I've yet to find one that compares with the Sicily from the seventeen-hundreds."

"Nay," Thor disagreed, shaking his head, "the Turkish coffee from the eighteenth century."he said with a nod.

"That thing was disgusting! Like mud!"

"It is not! It was a delicacy! You could taste the walnuts and the coffee beans."

"Maybe, doesn't change the fact the way they made it was disgusting."

"It still exists you know." Thor said grinning, taking far too much pleasure from Loki's disgusted face.

"Sometimes I forget how old you guys really are." Tony sighed, taking a piece if toast and spreading peanut butter, chuckling at Loki's horrified face. "What?"

"That abomination! How can you even think about that?"

"Do not mind him, Anthony, Loki has odd taste buds," Thor said in what could only be considered a patronizing tone.

“Is it my fault you do not like real food?” Loki said, buttering one toast and drinking the latte he had been offered by Steve. He paused, tasting the coffee and putting it aside, crossing his arms. “I think I’m insulted.”

“Why? Is it poisoned?” Tony asked, blatantly ignoring Natasha, Clint and Bruce. Steve was used to Loki. He turned to Thor as he snorted, Loki rolling his eyes between them.

“He’s insulted because it _isn’t_  poisoned.” Thor snorted, biting his own toast.

“Why would it be poisoned?” Steve asked, frowning.

“Because we’re enemies! It’s common courtesy, really, to poison your enemy’s food during a dinner.” Loki sighed, taking another sip of the latte.

“You people are so weird, for the record, we don’t tend to do that in America.” Steve said, pointing his fork at the trio.

“That’s just you who doesn’t, Steve. But then you tend to be boring like that.” Loki said, grabbing a plum from the assortment of fruits.

“What the hell are you even doing here?” Clint bit through his teeth.

“Breakfast,” Loki answered with a straight face and the drawling bored voice he had perfected, “you?”

“Pondering how to unleash the Hulk on you without breaking the furniture.” Clint gritted, glaring at Loki.

“Please don’t, I do know how to deal with Mr. Banner’s more beastly side now. It wouldn’t be fun.”

At once the table turned to Tony, staring at the inventor with different degrees of disbelief and loathing.

“Don’t look at me like that, _I_ don’t know how to deal with the Hulk, how could I possibly give him that information? For the record, _why_ would I even consider giving that information to Loki? We’re enemies!” Tony said, looking bemusedly around the table, from Thor’s frown to Natasha’s loaded look.

“You’re fucking him.” She said.

“Technically there’s mutual fucking going on, but what does that have to do with anything?” Tony said, staring around the table in blatant confusion.

“They think there might be mutual affection leading to eventual betrayal on your part to be with my brother.” Thor said, staring around the table, nodding knowingly. It had been known to happen a time or two.

“I do like that none of them think I might just leave my evil ways so I can be in a loving and fulfilling relationship with Stark."

"Tony."

"I'll call you whatever I want, Stark." Loki replied, giving him a quick kiss, grinning at Stark's eye roll. "Anyway," he continues, looking at the three Avengers, "I didn't think you disliked Doctor Banner so much you would unleash him on me.”

Clint snorted and leaned forward, baring his teeth. Natasha just outright glared at him. Had Loki been a lesser being he would feel threatened as it was he remembered a time when Clint had been shivering from withdrawal and had needed…  special care for lack of a better word.

“Last I remember, the Hulk gave you a beating that left you unable to disappear!”

“Yes, yes he did.” Loki agreed, nodding to Banner who just turned away from them. “Kudos to you, doctor, but it won’t happen again.”

“And,” Banner begun, voice almost a whisper as he fidgeted with his fork, “may I ask what are your plans?”

“I’m the god of fire, Doctor Banner.” He grinned, delighted as the doctor palled, “do with that information what you will.”

“Huh, I didn’t think you would just volunteer information.” Tony said, resting his chin on his hand, eyebrow raised.

“I’m not, that’s available on Wikipedia.” Loki shrugged. “Why are you so angry all the time, Barton?”

“Is it not enough that you mind controlled me for a week?! Is it not enough you took my will and made with it whatever you wanted?!”

“No.” Loki answered, leaning back on the chair, stealing one of Steve’s sausages to the soldier’s indignation. “Except for the blatant use of magic to facilitate the limited time we had, how is what I did different from what your government did?”

“I had a choice in that!” Clint snarled, getting up and pacing the kitchen.

“I think it’s kind of adorable how naïve you are. Do you really think you had a choice? Do you really think you weren’t hand-picked the moment you showed promise? Granted you’re a step above the mindless sheep, but you’re not that high that you’re part of the Party.” Loki snorted, “you know Barton, I think you’re bothered by the other thing I made you do.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Don’t I dare what? Relate how I forced you to detox from the combination of sleeping pills and painkillers you take every single day? How I had to hold you down as you went into withdrawal? How, now that you’re back in action, you’re back to the cocktail mix and I can smell the stench from here? Sorry, too late.” Loki drawled, eyes sharp, following the assassin’s movements.

“You’re a dick.” Tony sighed as Bruce stared at Clint in horror. Steve just looked puzzled at it all, Tony would bet there were no legal drugs in the soldier’s vicinity during the war.

Loki ignored him, looking at Clint and Natasha. “You know, you remind me of one of your own writer’s words... _‘Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbours, films, football, beer, and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult…. All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working hours or shorter rations. And when they become discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontentment led nowhere, because being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances.’_ Tell me agents, when you’re angry, when you’re discontent, when you’re so fucking pissed that you can’t see straight… is it me, an old enemy who has not bothered you in months, that you focus your grievances on or do you put them in their right place?” He stole one last plum from the fruit bowl before getting up, walking out of the kitchen. Footsteps followed him, not Thor’s heavy ones but the lighter walk of one Tony Stark.

What did it say about him that he had memorized the man’s walk?

“That was…”

“Brutal? I know… I think he needed it though. I’m not Barton’s personal demon and I refuse to be.”

“What you said, about the pill, is it true?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t lie about that, I was an addict myself and to something much worse.”

“Like you didn’t lie about Slepnir?” Loki snorted at that, turning to face Tony.

“That was trolling.”

“What really happened?” Tony asked, looking at the horizon, a hand on the small of Loki’s back.

“Sometimes you just fall in with the wrong crowd. It’s no one’s fault, you just do.”

“And you need someone to get you out.” Tony completed, taking a bite from Loki’s plum. Loki just agreed, looking at the horizon.

He would leave the little archer and his lady friend to sort themselves out.


	12. Sugar Pastries

**Disclaimer** : I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]

 **Title** : Adventures in Food XII

 **Pairing for the chapter** : Loki/Tony Stark

 **Warnings** : none

**Sugar Pastries**

It was some time before Clint and Natasha left the kitchen, but by that time Loki had already left the tower to who knew where* and Thor and Tony had been left alone to talk. Tony talking about the Matter and Thor trying to reconcile with what he objectively knew of the universe, offering some inputs that would help the humans understand their universe better - not that Thor knew that yet, to him it was just basic knowledge.

"Where is he?" Natasha asked, walking up to the men and looking for a hint of green in the penthouse.

"Back to his own flat I'd say, why?" Tony asked, looking at the agent, Natasha had the posture of someone about to go on a hunt, not that most people could tell, but Tony had seen Natasha relaxed and Natasha in agent mode, it was a startling difference.

"He has a meeting with Jormungand, Jor hates when he's late."

"Has he ever been late for anything though?" Tony asked, interested.

"It took some time to train him to be in time, but Loki has always been late to pretty much everything,"

Tony just grinned, stomach fluttering, at the mention of the deity. "Really? How long?"

"He has only been timely or so for the past two or thee hundred years, he-" Natasha cleared her throat, with a pointed look at the two grown boys.

"Loki? Where is he?"

"His own home," Tony replied, crossing his arms, "if you're asking where that is, sorry to disappoint, R.E.D.**, but I've no idea."

"Aren't you two seeing each other? Those are the sort of thing people share, Stark."

"I'm bad at interpersonal relationships, R.E.D., but not that bad. Loki refuses to give me his address."

"As well as he should," Thor chimed in, nodding to himself gravelly, "when a person shows interest in another person, specially a married one, the married person must not give their address least it gives the lover ideas, least they inconvenience the couple."

"Okay, first, Loki's married? Second, as much as that makes sense... What?"

"I'm on a torrid affair with a married man, Natasha, I am, in fact, the other woman." Tony said, his broken hearted expression cracking up for a bit as the spy grinned to herself. As much as she disliked Loki and how Stark treated him, she could see the improvement in the man's face.

"You know, what? Nevermind, just tell your sugar daddy to stay away from Clint." She said, raising both hands in abject surrender before walking away.

"What is this sugar daddy and why does Agent Romanoff seem to think Loki is one? Loki likes sugary treats, but not enough to be their patron deity, that's Odin." Thor asked frowning and trying to match the term to something he knew from Asgard.

Tony just laughed as he explained to Thor what the term meant.

\-----------------------------------------  
*Tony has a hunch that he has a penthouse with a view to the Atlantic, but don't quote him on that.

**R.E.D: Retired, Extremely Dangerous, not the actual colour red, that's lame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if you wanna see any food featured, please say so!


	13. Peppered  Brioches

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Thor or Iron Man or The Avengers, they all belong to Marvel [or to themselves if we're talking about Loki]

**Title:** Adventures in Food XIII

**Pairing for the chapter:** Loki/Tony Stark

**Warnings:** Loki and Jormungand

**Peppered Brioches**

"It's weird seeing you like this."

"Hello father, it's good to see you too."

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

"Father I can't," Jormungand said in heavily accented English, "the disguise that is."

"I care not for the disguise, now please greet me properly." Loki said, crossing his arms and his legs one over the other as he stared at his child. It was definitely weird to see Jormungand with the face of an old Korean male.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the man kneeled beside the deity, waiting for his father to greet him, the same way he always had. Loki just smiled beatifically at him, before planting a kiss on his child's head and giving his shoulder a friendly squeeze.

Jormungand slowly got back to his feet, cursing his back, and sitting on the extra chair. "You do know I have a reputation to maintain, right?"

"Of course, but don't you think you've held the same spot for too long?" Loki enquired, reaching for the butter and the brioches.

"It was a useful spot, keeps idiots from attempting to take over, but that's a post I've resigned in 2013, father."

"As well as you should have, honestly the ridiculous things they've made you do."

Jormungand, or as he was currently known, Kim Kyok-sik, North Korea's former Defence Minister, just grinned at Loki, gracefully accepting the treats his father offered. It had been a while since he'd been in France, since the French Revolution actually and he did miss the brioches. Though he still preferred Italian coffee, over the thing they served in France.

They were sitting near the window of the coffee shop, mostly because Loki did get a gleeful sense of accomplishment over cooing over his child in a public place.

"If they start to think I'm homosexual," Jor started, glaring at his father.

"They won't, they can't be more afraid of that than the usual religious extremists in the Colonies." Loki snorted, stealing a praline.

"I'd be offended if it wasn't the actual truth." A female voice said beside them, CEO of Stark Industries, Ms. Virginia Potts. Loki offered her a seat and, with some trepidation clearly showing on her face, she accepted, ordering a coffee for herself, along with gluten-free waffles, the men beside her rolling their eyes.

"What can I do for your Ms. Potts?" Loki asked, his fingers crossed and resting on his knee.

"I heard from Natasha that Tony was your 'other woman'" she said, with quoting marks and everything, "and I need to ask what do you think you're doing with Tony?"

They both looked at her, Loki puzzled while Jormungand started to chuckle to himself, eventually having to hide his face on his hands as he started to laugh. Loki just shot him an annoyed look.

"She means that you're cheating on Sigyn with your pet mortal." He said between chuckles.

"Oh," Loki muttered, frowning at Pepper in pure disbelief*. "You do know that we do not regard marriage the same way you humans do, right? The concept of cheating is lost when you have an open relationship based on love, mistrust and mutual murdering rages."

Pepper just opened and closed her mouth a few times, frowning at the Trickster. Besides them Jormungand just chuckled, trying to ease his mirth. "What Loki means," he begun, still chuckling, "is that this whole 'cheating' thing is a human concept based on the fact you guys tend to think you own someone else just because you love them and they love you in return, when what actually happens is that desire for others is curbed when a couple gets together, and that only happens with humans."

"Really?" She arched a disbelieving eyebrow at them. "What of Thor and Jane then? What of Odin and Frigga?"

"Thor is married with Sif, Jane is his pet mortal, I don't doubt he Loves her, thought he won't offer her immortality, it would drive her insane, and I can't tell you how many times I've seen Odin and Frigga take Freyja or Fyr into their own bedroom, either together or separately. The fact you love someone doesn't mean you can't love another someone and also have a relationship with them. Marriage just defines your primary loyalty." Loki shrugged. "I haven't seen in my wife in 300years, and last I heard she was enjoying herself on Tyr's bed. Still love her dearly, though."

"But you did offer immortality to Tony, didn't you?"

"No, I offered him an extended life spam, 500 years give or take, I mean he's not all there to start with, it happens with genius intellects, so an extended life spam won't make much of a difference."

Pepper singed, she was good with different perspectives. She really was, it was why she went to different countries to deal with personnel, Tony just didn't care one way or the other and that caused problems. She only sent him when she needed to, usually factory or development related things. This... This was on a whole new scale. She fully admitted she wasn't someone who could accept a polyamorous relationship, it didn't sit right with here and in that she was as conservative as her mother had raised her to be*.

Her first instinct was to tell Tony all that, but she had an inkling that he already knew everything they were talking about. For a moment all she could do was wonder how was that her life*. Before just letting go, it didn't matter, not in the way she wanted to matter, except.

"God, he told me he couldn't even know where you live, Thor told him that." Pepper whispered, she had been completely heartbroken over it, is it any wonder she had marched over to a deity that could harm her to demand satisfaction? For some reason both gods started laughing, attracting attention from patrons who were trying to ignore that a supervillain, the former Minister of Defence For one of the most feared nations in the world and the CEO of Stark Industries were talking rather amicably. Pepper had the urge to just hide her face in her hands.

"He's learning how to Troll you," Loki smirked, beyond pleased, "it helps when your victim actually knows you're doing it, I might give him a few pointers." He grinned at her, all teeth, and Pepper wondered again what did Tony even see in him, because she couldn't.

"Do you even love him?" She asked, of course she still cared about Tony, it was a natural reaction after everything she had learnt.

"What is love?" Loki asked, smirking and leaning back on his chair, crossing his arms.

"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more." Jormungand started with a smirk so similar to Loki's that Pepper had doubt the two men weren't related, but as far as she knew Loki's only relative on earth as Thor. To see a former Defence Minister just half-dancing on the chair, in France of all places, his head going back and forth, his eyes closed as if he was having fun...

"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more." Kim Kyok-sik sung again.

"What is love?" Loki sung along, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. This time Pepper really did hide herself behind her hands, wondering about the PR nightmare*.

\----  
1- It's a look Tony's used to and if he had been there he would have dragged Pepper out. Poor girly.  
2- Working with Tony for more than a decade usually has unforeseen effects, such as shattering conservative views. It's why Stark Industries is such a nice place to work, Tony just doesn't care what you are as long as you can work for him.  
3- 'How Is This My Life?' A biography by Pepper Potts, available in the best book stores on February 31st.  
4- Not much of one, no one in their right mind - Avengers excluded - believed that Virginia Potts had met Loki and Kim Kyok-sik for and amicable coffee on foreign land.


End file.
